As adopting parents and adopting parents-to-be, we are in the unique position to educate the world regarding adoption and the adoption process. As you embark on this journey, I encourage you to take on the "cause" to educate the masses of "uneducated" in the true miracle that adoption is.

As you proceed, you will hear all sorts of comments, perspectives and opinions about adoption from everyone that you encounter. Some people will believe that adoption is wonderful. Some will believe it is a sin. But most people will be somewhere in between.

But no matter where they are in their understanding and appreciation of adoption, YOU are in the position to help shape their thoughts.

As you reference your search for Birthmoms, it is important that you refer to these women with the respect and love that they deserve. It is important to present positive language as you discuss the decisions they will be making.

I’ll show the negative language first. We have all heard it…and it is difficult to hear.

"We’re looking for a Birthmom who wants to give up her child for adoption."

People "give up" bad habits like smoking and procrastination. They do not "give up" a precious child. To give up something of this importance suggests cold, uncaring disinterest.

Of course there is nothing further from the truth. The decision a woman makes to create an adoption plan for her child is an incredibly loving, unselfish and positive way to handle an untimely pregnancy.

Here is how my wife and I prefer to discuss adoption.

Instead, refer to a Birthmom’s choice this way. "We’re searching for a Birthmom interested in creating an adoption plan for her unborn or newborn child."

An Adoption Plan is the most unselfish, loving, caring and difficult decision a Birthmom can make regarding her child.

Every Birthmom has her own very personal reasons why an Adoption Plan is the right thing to do. Maybe she is too young to properly care for the child. Maybe she wishes for her child to have both a mother and father, like she had when she grew up.

Only she knows what her reasons are. But do know this. It is the most deliberate, unselfish and loving decision she can make. She is thinking ONLY of the welfare of her child, and she is sacrificing her own personal needs.

If you’re like us, you will get very peeved when you hear others (on TV or in conversation) talk about the woman who gave up her child. You will hear these people judging Birthmoms, wondering out loud, "How could she do that?", or, "What a terrible thing, to give up a child".

What these insensitive people don’t realize is the amount of pain and agony these women suffer in committing to an adoption plan. Frankly, I do not know if I would have the courage.

One of your "missions" can be to educate the rest of the world, one person at a time. This will help them to realize how a simple change in wording can make a world of difference in presenting a more loving, sensitive perspective on adoption.