Selecting Your Adoption Attorney

Selecting your adoption agency and/or adoption attorney will be the most important part in your adoption process.

The success and longevity of your adoption rests squarely on the shoulders of the legal basis of your child's adoption. Following the letter and spirit of both state and federal laws is absolutely critical! 

Your adoption success is based on your attorney’s grasp of adoption law, his expertise and experience in private adoptions…and, quite frankly, his attitude toward adoption. 

As you work your Adoption Plan, you will want to find “the right” attorney for you. You may need to interview several before you find one that meets your demanding criteria. As you conduct your interviews, use these considerations to assist in your decision making process.

• Experience
• Knowledge and Interpretation of Adoption Law
• Patient, Compassionate, and Available

Adoption Attorney Experience

You pick a heart surgeon who has many successful heart operations “under her belt”. You pick an adoption attorney the same way. Select an attorney with several recent adoptions successfully completed. You don’t want to be his first! Ask for specific cases he has handled within the last year. 

Adoption laws change often, and if your attorney has handled cases recently, he will be “up to speed” on the latest changes. Also, be careful if the lawyer is unwilling to quote a fee estimate. She should be able to at least offer a dollar range. 

Sources for Adoption Attorney referrals:

• As you look for an attorney, you will “ask around” for referrals. Look to relatives, friends and trusted co-workers to get names of fine attorneys. You may also look to these sources:
• Other couples who have successfully completed private adoptions. 
• Bar Association
• Trusted attorneys that you know…know of colleagues that have positive reputations for various law specialties. Ask them for referrals.
• Adoption Support Groups

Don’t blindly believe an advertisement indicating adoption experience. Interview them and learn about their successful cases. The search is worth it. 

Knowledge and Interpretation of Adoption Law

As with any field of law, an attorney’s understanding of the “interpretation of the law” is just as important as the “letter of the law”. While the law is static, its interpretation can change from county to county and state to state…from case to case. You need an attorney who not only understands adoption law, but the subtle nuances of adoption law.

Your attorney will play the role of “conductor”, orchestrating all of the “moving parts” of your adoption. She must be able to move effortlessly from one county or state to the next, contacting colleagues, calling other attorneys for referrals…all in your best interest. Many adoptions are now taking place state to state and country to country. You attorney must have a working understanding of the Interstate Compact on Placement of Children for your state. As well, a good working relationship with the court and judge make a private adoption smooth and less stressful.

Your attorney must be willing to tell you, "NO", that is, no to an opportunity that is legally impossible. She will shield you from becoming too emotionally involved in an adoption that legally will not work. 

You must have the confidence that she can handle any adoption opportunity you might have, no matter how complicated it may seem. Adoptions can fall through if the attorney is behind on adoption law, or makes technical errors. You should have no tolerance for naive legal errors or a lack of understanding of the nuances of adoption law.

Patience, Compassion and Availability 

An attorney may be knowledgeable and experienced, but there is more that is involved. Like a doctor needs “bedside manner”, so must an attorney have the human interaction traits of patience and compassion.

Working with a nervous Birthmom requires careful “handling” by your attorney and his staff. You don’t want to scare her away. Human interaction traits of patience, compassion, and respect presented in a non-threatening, non-judgmental manner will help to console a scared Birthmom.

Your attorney will represent you in the daily interactions with your Birthmom. In many ways, the trust she feels for your attorney will directly impact the trust she places in you. When interviewing attorneys, you must judge your level of comfort with him. Ask yourself, “If I were a Birthmom, would I trust this person, and feel comfortable placing my child’s life in his care?”

When your Birthmom is shown respect and empathy by your attorney, you considerably lower the risk of her having ill feelings after the adoption. If she feels pressured or coerced, risks for complications dramatically increase. 

In addition, you must inquire as to how “available” your perspective attorney will be. Children are not always born at convenient times or places. It could be late at night, on a weekend, or while your Birthmom is on a holiday in the “wrong state”. It could be all three. You must find out how your attorney will handle these situations.

You must ask who will back-up your attorney if he is on vacation or handling another adoption. Be persistent. Get firm answers!

Your attorney will be an advocate for you in the search and placement process, and s/he will be able to offer a great deal of advice regarding the laws in your state. In front of the Court and judge, s/he will be sponsoring you as persons and a family. You must get to know your attorney, and s/he must get to know you. The better you know each other, the better a recommendation will be made on your behalf.